Posted by
Tom Proebsting on Thursday, May 24, 2007 6:12:10 PM
Jim and I sat in his 1987 Ford F-350 pickup truck and passed a doobie back and forth. He'd done time for growing marijuana in the privacy of his home. In his own closet yet.
"Tom, it's easy to kick in a door. You take that one over there."
He pointed to the wooden, windowless back door of our living quarters. It was a two-story shack, ancient, with a crappy bathroom and a common kitchen on each floor, and a bedroom, which cost me $65 a week. A bargain for the down-and-out.
"If it has a deadbolt, you kick directly under the deadbolt. If it doesn't have a deadbolt, man, you kick it right in the middle. Comes right open."
Pretty fascinating conversation. But when you're stoned, you can concentrate a little better on some things. Like movies, music, and kicking in doors.
America had just declared a war on terror. Or something to that effect. The Cold War ended about a decade ago, so our government needed any excuse to pump up the military-industrial complex. The Muslims gave us that excuse. America never did like the Muslim religion anyway. Too much competition for Christianity.
The images on the television screen were played and replayed over and over again. Two big jets were flown into each tower of the World Trade Center.
Another was flown into the Pentagon. The only television image shown of that was a scene of the Pentagon with smoke coming out the other side of the five-sided complex. I never saw the crashed jet itself on the TV screen.
Another jet ended up in a field somewhere in Pennsylvania. Maybe it's original destination had been the White House. That morning I had phoned my sister-in-law and warned her not to allow her son, a university student in Boston, not to fly back to the Midwest for the coming weekend.
She was crying, scared that the draft would return. She has two military-aged sons. My sister-in-law and I had been teenagers during the Vietnam War.
Funny how 19 crazy Arabs armed with box cutters could kill 3000 Americans and start a two-front war: one in Afghanistan and another in Iraq.
This war propelled the careers of conservative talk show hosts, especially those on the radio. The number one Reagan-conservative talking head was a tall fat guy from Missouri who smoked cigars and was stone-deaf. The number two was a Long Island Irish choirboy who looked like a chubby teenager.
National Public Radio, of course, came out against anything the president, a Neo-Con, did or said. When the liberals talked on NPR, you could hardly hear them. I always had to turn up the volume when I listened to NPR.
That's the current state of politics today.
The arts aren't much better. There are no poets coming out to replace TS Eliot, Robert Frost, William Carlos Williams, or Allen Ginsberg. The closest thing we got is a joke named Angelou Maya. Some of her stuff actually rhymes.
Jim went on. "Anyhow, I don't know who ratted on me, but the cops knew I was growing weed and they knew which closet I had it in. One night they knocked on my door. I opened it."
Jim should have been a mercenary in another life. In this life, he was a construction worker. His specific job was to climb onto a roof, position his hammer gun, and drive nails.
"Tom, they walked through my front door without me asking them in. Frickin'-A, man! It was my house. Anyway, I took the heel of my open palm and shoved it into the nose of the nearest cop."
He smiled for effect. "The guy grabbed his nose, which was bleeding all over, and said 'Hey!' I covered my head with my hands as the cops came at me all at once and said, 'Okay, guys! You got me!' "
Jim did some hard time as this was not his first offense. He had boxer's eyes, almost closed and still puffy.
I was reading a novel that week. It was written by Chuck Palahniuk called Lullaby. It was about a guy who was under some lady's thumb. The year before, I read Skinny Legs and All by Tom Robbins. Robbins actually believes in the original religion of mankind, the worship of the mother Goddess. Where are the novelists today who will replace Norman Mailer, Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., and George Orwell?
Jim needed some money to put down on a two-bedroom trailor in the south part of town. "Hey, man! Do you need a computer? I'll sell you mine. All it needs is some hard-drive stuff!"
"I'll look at it tomorrow, Jim, after I get off work."
Everybody has a computer today. Even guys in flophouses. My new job was hauling flooring and paint around all day delivering it to job sites. It's murder on the joints and all, but it pays the bills.
Jim's girlfriend, Iris is missing a lot of teeth and busts tables at a bus stop/cafe. "Tom, I like the fact that she does what I tell her."
"Admirable, Jim."
My ex-girlfriend, Maddie, was black and worked three days at a nursing home. The last time we made love in my car, she moaned someone else's name at the wrong moment.
I broke it off with the skinny nag after a month of haggling and buying her boxes of cigarettes and six-packs.
The state of politics today is boring. The politicians are as interesting as buzzing flies landing on a screen door in the middle of July. The most relevant writer today is Noam Chomsky, a linguist by trade, an anarchist by night. This senile old Jew almost had me believing his conspiracy theories and his head-in-the-clouds ideas about utopia.
Noam's theories and ideas fade into unreality upon reflection. He's been fighting for the ideas of no-government and for increased worker's unions for about fifty years. Meanwhile, government has burgeoned and labor unions have went the way of the dodo in the last fifty years.
Capitalism is okay as an economic system. It beats total submission to the state (Socialism, Communism, and Fascism), rule-by-gangs (Anarchy), and Theocracies (Iran). Our government has just enough checks and balances to keep the status quo and to make politics boring.
The biggest movements on the Far Left are the anti-war thing and gay marriage. I can understand being anti-war. I was a conscienscious objecter during the Vietnam War. But gay marriage?
Why would our government make it legal for two homosexuals to get hitched? When they get tired of each other, they will divorce. There are better causes to get involved in. Homos make up only about 1 or 2% of the population so it's not a big deal. I say, put them all back in the closet: Rosie O'Donnell, Ellen DeGeneres, and Sir Ian McKellen and any others who have crept out of the woodwork.
I see drugs destroying a fair selection of its users, primarily young people. Kids are buying, selling, and using the stuff and they are paying big-time for it. Some are going to jail, others are losing their motivation, and still others are becoming violent.
One of my nephews, Zack, aged 18, smokes pot that is laced with formaldehyde. It's known as 'wet.' A few days ago he smashed his younger sister's head into the couch and split it open, like a watermelon. His mother, recently divorced and dating an unemployed bum, didn't call the police or throw him out. Her excuse: He's my Son!
Illegal drugs are not meant for anyone, young or old, black or white, rich or poor. Keep them illegal and out of our country.
Time for a little break from thinking and writing.